Household Chores and Division of Labor: Expert Advice and Tips for Couples
The issue of splitting household tasks and responsibilities is a common challenge faced by many couples. According to a recent study by Starling Bank, women spend an average of 36 hours per week on household tasks and life admin – equivalent to a full-time job. In comparison, men spend nine hours less on these tasks, yet they believe they do the majority of the work in their household. This discrepancy between perception and reality often leads to arguments between couples.
In fact, the study found that couples who do not divide the housework equally have an average of five arguments about chores each month. This number increases to eight for couples who rely on just one person to handle all the household tasks. To gain insight into the best ways to split household work and manage potential arguments, we spoke with relationship expert Hayley Quinn.
Quinn stresses the importance of transparency when it comes to dividing household tasks. She explains that it’s necessary to openly communicate and be flexible in finding a solution that works for both partners. While a 50/50 split may seem ideal, Quinn acknowledges that it may not always be practical given the demands of modern life. Therefore, it’s important for couples to be understanding and willing to take on a slightly heavier load at times.
Some tasks may be more visible than others, such as cleaning or taking out the trash. However, other tasks, such as sorting out travel insurance or changing internet providers, may go unnoticed. Quinn advises couples to approach the conversation about splitting tasks with a positive mindset and to recognize that both partners contribute to the relationship in different ways. She urges couples to avoid starting the conversation with accusations or assumptions about their partner’s contributions.
Instead, Quinn suggests asking for help in a clear and verbal manner. She encourages partners to express their appreciation for what the other does and to be specific in their requests. For example, instead of saying, “You never do anything,” try saying, “It would be really helpful if you could take over lunch.” This approach is more likely to receive a positive response and lead to a productive conversation.
Quinn also acknowledges that some people may feel protective of how tasks are completed and may struggle with relinquishing control. In these situations, she advises partners to let go and allow their partner to complete tasks in their own way in order to achieve a more equitable distribution of responsibilities.
If conversations and requests for help do not lead to a resolution, Quinn recommends using tools such as Starling Bank’s “Share the Load” feature to create a chore split. However, if the issue persists, she suggests that the root of the problem may be communication and recommends sitting down for another transparent conversation. If all else fails, seeking support from friends, family, or a relationship counselor may be beneficial. Ultimately, it’s important for couples to work together and find a solution that works for both partners in order to maintain a healthy and harmonious household.
